[This essay from Forbes is a ‘big picture’ look at how technologies, especially those that evoke different types of presence, are changing our personal relationships. For coverage of more specific changes, see three recent stories: “Metaverse dating could help you find real love in VR” (Lifewire), “Dating is getting hot in the metaverse, per exclusive Reddit data” (The Drum
) and “Ghosting the machine: Humans, robots, and the new sexual frontier” (Harpers
). –Matthew]
[Image: Credit: Lucas Racasse / Getty. Source: Lifewire]
What Digital Intimacy Is And How Technology Is Changing Our Relationships
By KJ Dhaliwal, Forbes Technology Council; KJ Dhaliwal is an accomplished entrepreneur & venture investor. He’s currently the Chief Strategy Officer of Dating Group & CEO of Dil Mil.
May 16, 2022
Not all that long ago, the relationships people had were typically confined to the general proximity of where they worked, lived, went to school and congregated. But then came technologies like the telephone, which enabled people to “reach out and touch someone.” And that slogan, made famous by AT&T commercials in the 1980s, was the first nod to digital intimacy ever shared with the masses.
Now, some 40 years later, it’s no big deal to have an intimate online relationship with someone who’s thousands of miles away. And whether it’s for love, friendship, business or fun, many of us have real relationships with people who we will never meet in person. This is especially true for Gen-Z.
We Are Becoming A Digital-First Society
A few years back, Pew Research Center found that 57% of teens ages 13 to 17 had no problem making new friends online, with most of those friendships remaining in the digital space. That was 2015, and now that same generation of teens are adults. And their relationship preferences have carried forward with them. Many are even having intimate experiences that are purely digital.
Like it or not, we now live in a digital-first, global society. Everyone and everything is just a click, swipe or voice prompt away. And our dependence on technology for connecting with the world has been greatly accelerated by the wiles of the pandemic. Whether out of loneliness, convenience or sheer boredom, Covid-19 made connecting with people online completely mainstream.
Seeking A Cure For Loneliness
The pandemic also forced much of the world into an existential crisis. People from across the globe began reflecting on their lives, careers and relationships in profound ways. And many realized just how lonely they were becoming. Covid-19 separated millions of people from physical intimacy for great periods of time. So in order to adapt and cope, many sought to replicate their relationships online in the form of digital intimacy.
Unable to go out to bars, pubs and other meeting places, people looking for companionship started to explore different online worlds. And finding new relationships became all about social discovery. In its simplest form, social discovery is about people connecting around mutual interests and creating deeply personal, long-term relationships. In other words, social discovery is all about people coming together and exploring together online.
Do We Need Other Humans To Be Happy?
In this quest for online friendship and love, however, some are discovering that they actually prefer connections that aren’t human at all. And this is how technology is truly changing our relationships. Instead of the master-servant relationship we’ve always had with our gadgets and apps, it’s now becoming our companion. We even ignore the people around us to keep up with what’s happening in our digital lives.
But why has our connection to technology become more intimate? Technology is always there with us, doesn’t judge and helps us with many of our basic needs. Yes, we still boss technology around. But we listen to it as well… “Hey Siri, any good restaurants near me?”
We Spend A Lot Of Time With Technology
Technology listens to us too and learns from us. Some applications get to know us so well that they’re almost like a human friend. For example, in Australia, hundreds of thousands of people are currently keeping company with an AI-powered companion called iFriend. The app promises to always listen, understand and understand you.
People are also spending a lot of time with technology. This is especially true for teens. According to a 2021 study published in Jama Pediatrics, teens spend nearly eight hours in front of their screens every day. The report noted that the figure doesn’t take into account online learning but includes gaming, texting, scrolling through social media, video chatting, browsing the web and streaming entertainment content.
Our Realities Are Now Mixed
With all of this in motion, there is little doubt that our realities are becoming more mixed. We are walking a razor-thin line between the physical and the digital. And the lines will only continue to blur, especially as we get closer to things like the metaverse. There, as our avatar selves, it will become harder and harder to tell who is real and who is an algorithm.
However, it won’t matter what’s real or not because AIs will one day have some of the same rights we do. Seriously, there is growing debate as to whether avatars, robots and AIs should have legal rights like humans. For those interested in the topic, Rights for Robots brings a unique perspective to the debate about the ethical and legal issues around artificial intelligence and other technologies. The book “uses theory and practice on animal rights and the rights of nature to assess the status of robots.”
What’s Next For Digital Intimacy?
Not to sound too much like a borrowed page from Neal Stephenson’s dystopian novel Snow Crash, but humans and technology are only going to become more intertwined. As society acclimates to the metaverse over the next decade, VR headsets will be replaced with far more advanced technologies that enable deeper, more immersive mixed realities without the tethers of headsets and cords. A hint to what’s possible comes from companies like NextMind, which was recently acquired by Snap for an undisclosed sum.
In a news release, Snap wrote, “NextMind has joined Snap to help drive long-term augmented reality research efforts within Snap Lab. Spectacles are an evolving, iterative research and development project, and the latest generation is designed to support developers as they explore the technical bounds of augmented reality.”
Reading between the lines, the perfection of brain-computer interface (BCI) technology will become a growing effort for companies like Snap. And there are many others working hard to develop and fund this type of technology. And if the stars align, where technology and society meet in the same place, AT&T’s slogan will ring more true than ever before. We truly will be able to “reach out and touch someone.”
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