[This story from The Toronto Star explores the trends that may be behind – and the potential benefits and dangers involved with – the use of presence-evoking technologies to create physical intimacy (while some claims, e.g., about the Brain Waves XR technology, require more detailed, credible documentation, the larger concepts and issues are thought-provoking). See the original version of the story for four more images. –Matthew]
Virtual reality body rub parlour offers an alternative to sex. But should we be worried about intimacy?
So while the virtual world can provide a much-needed escape, there are societal and technology forces at play that may be changing intimacy.
By Omar Mosleh, Staff Reporter
April 4, 2023
EDMONTON—Enter “the Matrix” — but for sex.
That’s how the owner of Oh My Doll, a business in Edmonton that melds virtual reality pornography with silicone sex dolls as an alternative to sex workers, describes his establishment.
He claims his “high-tech body rub” parlour is one of the only places in Canada, and even the world, to provide the service.
“I have not come across anyone else doing what he’s doing,” confirms Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist, lecturer and sex therapist based in Boston, who follows trends in sex tech.
For decades, science fiction movies and books have envisioned a world in which we can plug into alternate realities to escape the monotony of everyday life — with mixed results.
Recently, artificial intelligence has been the emerging technology to steal the spotlight, with ChatGPT, a software program that can mimic human conversation, being singled out as the greatest threat to the future of computer programmers, data entry professionals and other tech sectors (not to mention journalists).
Virtual reality, on the other hand, is sometimes dismissed as a pet project of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg that won’t be embraced by mainstream consumers. But some tech experts believe Zuckerberg is onto something; they say virtual reality is positioned to dominate the entertainment industry of the future and that it could also feature prominently in other sectors such as health care and education.
Not to mention porn. Online adult entertainment saw a sharp increase in activity over the pandemic. And if sex sells, porn is one of the products that keeps the internet’s business booming: depending on who you ask, internet searches and downloads for pornography account for about 15 to 30 per cent of the web’s total traffic.
It also seems people’s porn proclivities are changing. In 2021, Pornhub said its most popular search term was “hentai” — animated pornography often depicting cartoon-like characters.
As more people spend their lives indoors and online, exacerbated by the pandemic, there is often a sense that we’re closer to the people we communicate with virtually than to our real-life families and friends, says WonSook Lee, a computer science professor at the University of Ottawa.
“Living in a big city, many people feel lonely, and people are filling that need for attachment on social media,” she says. “In the future, I know virtual reality will be a very big thing.”
It will be especially appealing to the up-and-coming generation already accustomed to spending much of its time immersed in online worlds, she adds.
It comes at a time when there have been significant concerns raised about delayed adulthood in young men especially between the ages of 21 and 30. Research shows they are working less, living with their parents longer and spending much of their free time playing video games — all of which contributes to less social interaction and dating.
Another related trend is that young people, especially men, have been having their first sexual encounters later in life and less often. The phenomenon is sometimes blamed on dating app culture where the swipe-right mentality emphasizes superficial attributes rather than meaningful connections. Another theory is that partnering-up later in life leads to less sex in one’s 20s. Other research shows that young men’s social circles are shrinking, and about one in four men don’t have someone they could call their best friend.
Brandon said from what she’s seen in couples counselling, people are having less sex across the board, due to technology, work demands and the changing way we communicate. But men aged 18 to 30 saw one of the highest declines in sexual activity, according to a Washington Post analysis.
“People generally are spending less time together … But it is more concerning to me, these young guys that never had a sexual experience that was satisfying with a human,” Brandon said.
So while the virtual world can provide a much-needed escape, there are societal and technology forces at play that may be changing intimacy. Add to that concerns that young men are unwilling or have little to no incentive to interact with their peers, it presents greater implications than a whole generation spending their lives immersed in online worlds.
It is a major factor in the emergence of incels, a group of socially disenfranchised young men who languish in online echo chambers that reaffirm their misplaced resentment toward women for their nonexistent sex life.
And it has led to real world consequences of extreme violence.
It remains to be seen how young boys, who are already embracing the metaverse, will utilize the space as they transition into adulthood.
“The young generation, it’s a lot easier for them to be involved virtually,” Lee said. “And they are very familiar with the concept of an avatar.”
But what if that avatar is a porn star?
At Oh My Doll, a business operating out of a nondescript strip mall in an industrial area of south Edmonton, patrons put on a headset and have virtual reality sex with adult film stars, coupled with sex dolls for deeper immersion, through a proprietary technology delivered through the same wireless headsets sold by Facebook’s parent company Meta.
The technology is focused on computer-generated erotic experiences, but can also target various emotions such as stress, confidence and empathy, according to its proprietor, Kais Latiri, a tech entrepreneur who recently moved to Edmonton from Montreal. There are also modules focused on hypnosis and meditation, like a “massage for the brain.” Others aim to boost one’s self esteem with characters that lavish praise upon the user.
Latiri said the technology can actually trick the brain into making someone feel like they’re experiencing sensations such as touch, texture and physical pleasure — a recognized phenomenon known as phantom sense that has seen renewed interest as virtual reality headsets enter mainstream consumer use.
Latiri said he doesn’t see many young shy young men coming through his doors, but rather, couples and older gentlemen looking to explore their sexuality and technology. He said about 75 per cent of his clients are men and are mostly interested in the technology, adding that many are entrepreneurs, engineers and tech aficionados.
“The people who know, at the end of the day, they don’t come for the sex,” Latiri said. “They come for their brain.”
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Oh My Doll is hidden behind a glass door that leads to what looks like a generic office space. Inside, customers are greeted by friendly employees who offer red-and-black flip flops stamped with the company’s logo.
In a private room, two silicone sex dolls, retailing for thousands of dollars each, are posed in suggestive positions; one lies in a bed, a knee perched seductively, while another is standing and bent over, her hands and wrists twisted backwards in a raunchy display.
All they’re wearing are pairs of white dainty socks.
The dolls are ensconced in warm red and purple rays emanating from a pair of LED lamps that mimic the hazy luminescence of neon signs, creating a seductive and somewhat seedy ambiance.
But the real attraction is a mysterious pair of wireless goggles bathing in blue light in the corner, glowing like a phone screen dropped in the dark.
Latiri emerges from a corner and unveils a thin piece of plastic (actually a $50 gift card).
“This unlocks the key to the Matrix,” he quips. “We make you question reality itself.”
Latiri, a married man with young kids, said his business is aimed at adventurous couples who want to explore polyamory without involving another person, or people in long-distance relationships.
“We have a human mission here and the first mission is no cheating,” Latiri said. “That’s really something that matters to me.”
He said he moved his business from Montreal to Edmonton because the former city would only zone his business as a traditional body rub parlour, which tends to come with increased scrutiny and surveillance. In Edmonton, they decided to zone the business as adult services, similar to a porn shop, he said.
He distinguishes a high-tech body rub from a physical affair with another person, sexting or even paying webcam performers in that there is no human on the other side.
He compares it to watching pornography, but more immersive.
He said he doesn’t aim to replace the sex work industry, but merely offer an alternative.
“It’s all about innovation,” he said, seated in his IT room surrounded by the buzz of high performance computers. “It’s like regular phones versus smartphones.”
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Lee says she noticed a marked decrease in how her students interact with each other that aligned with the rise in popularity of smartphones. During fire drills, she remembered how people once talked to each other. Now they all stare at their phones.
It’s an example of how a widespread embrace of a certain technology can fundamentally shift how we interact with each other.
Virtual reality could be the next frontier.
Latiri says he sees potential for a new generation of customers who might be more comfortable interacting with a digital avatar (who is already primed for sex) versus a real person at a social event.
“Short term? Yes. Because the youngest generations, they will be the customers for the future … their neurons are already wired for it,” he said.
More exciting for him is where he sees huge potential for virtual reality to be used in applications in other industries, such as the military and health care.
He points to modules that use virtual reality to make sexual harassment training more immersive, as well as one on one therapy for conditions such as depression and PTSD.
“What if someone doesn’t have empathy? We can treat that,” he contends, while acknowledging that research showing health benefits of virtual reality therapy is still emerging.
There is evidence, however, that shows people who go through virtual reality training retain more information when compared to videos or PowerPoint presentations.
“It’s because we already went through the process of digitalization,” Latiri said. “As humans, our brains are adapted to change.”
That’s certainly true for a new generation of young people who spend much of their time staring at screens.
As it stands, virtual reality headsets are currently not that accessible for the average person. Facebook’s offerings start at around $500 and go up to $2,000. That makes them especially out of reach for young people.
“I don’t think those young people have the money to do anything more than watch free porn on the computer,” Brandon said. “That may be part of why Kais is not seeing them.”
But the headsets are getting lighter, cheaper and more accessible, Lee said, and Brandon said it’s only a matter of time before VR porn becomes the dominant form of adult entertainment.
“My guess is that when virtual reality headsets become more available and more people try out VR porn, it’s quick, it’s easy, it’s convenient … we’re all kind of lazy and if people can get their satisfaction in their own home in five minutes, I think that’s going to be a contender,” she said.
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Throughout an interview with the Star, Latiri’s phone is constantly buzzing as he manages appointments and inquiries about Oh My Doll.
Business is steady, he said.
He is also the owner of Brainwaves XR, a spinoff company focused on the virtual reality software. He said what makes his technology unique is the ability to deliver physical sensations without haptics, also known as 3D touch, a relatively new technology that uses vibrations to replicate tactile sensations that has found its way into Apple’s iPhones, for example.
In online forums, numerous users of virtual reality headsets describe experiencing sensations such as the wind on their skin or actual pain while immersed in the Metaverse.
Scott, a 40-something Edmonton man in a committed relationship, is a regular customer at Oh My Doll. He said he often spends time away from his partner and decided to try it because he got tired of watching porn online and would feel guilty visiting a sex worker.
“Their technology is beyond anything that is out there, I’ll tell you that,” he said. “We’re talking porn stars that are whispering in your ear … and your brain thinks you’re there.”
He said his first few experiences were uninspiring, but the more he went, the more immersive and realistic it became. He said the key was letting go of his thoughts and just going with the flow.
“You kind of do have to train your brain,” he said.
The scientific explanation for “phantom sense” is unclear, but Latiri believes it works by manipulating electrical signals in the brain.
Brandon said she personally has experienced the phantom sense, but it was a walk the tightrope simulation, not porn. But she also has experienced VR porn.
“Even though my frontal lobe knew what was really happening, my body was reacting … my mind wasn’t even wanting it to happen. But if you are in a VR porn situation and you want to have a sexual experience, I would think your mind will help you even more,” she said.
From a psychology perspective she said that one of the reasons virtual reality can be so persuasive for people is that it taps into an ancient part of the brain responsible for functions such as survival and passing on our DNA — known as the limbic cortex or sometimes “lizard brain”.
“I think that’s why virtual porn can have that much potency — it taps into those instincts. And that’s a primal motivator for us for sex,” she said.
Brandon said she believes VR porn, like its 2D counterpart, will primarily appeal to men, but there are other people it could be transformative for: People with physical and mental disabilities, those who are still recovering from sexual trauma, or individuals who just aren’t comfortable meeting someone.
But she also has concerns. Sexual harassment is already an issue in the Metaverse, and she worries people engaging in aggressive BDSM sex could get carried away without real-world constraints.
She adds that having a readily available virtual avatar primed for sex could discourage people, especially young men, from growing as individuals and attracting real partners.
“If your sexual satisfaction is just handed to you, and you don’t have to grow, I do wonder are they going to kind of stay stuck and never be motivated to mature in an appealing way?” she said.
And there’s also the issue of the pitfalls of technology. She worries about data breaches — she told a story of a man who had a chastity device locked around his penis connected to an app that was hacked.
“The hackers asked for bitcoin,” she said with bewilderment. “What’s going to happen when someone breaks the code … and has access to what turns you on?”
In that case, it may be wise for the user to turn off their headset.
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